i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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