I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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