Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
