You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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