best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
