My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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