It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
