They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
