fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
