Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
