why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
There's always time for handjobs
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
