I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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