She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
