Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
