Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
