im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
