Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
