Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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