My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
