Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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