this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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