my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
