8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize