And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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