NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
