hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
