i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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