Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
