Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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