No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
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I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
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I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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