For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize