Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
