YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
