need another drink. this is the easiest way
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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