everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
