I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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