I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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