Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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