so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
BRING THE BAGELS
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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