I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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