This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize