after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
