i think my tv is drunk
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
