I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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