sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
