I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The uberlube is also flammable
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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