and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
