Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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