I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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