Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize