I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
