I am puke
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything