haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?