Texts From Last Night

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  (706): View more from Georgia

  i would punch a child for taco bell

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  (706): i would punch a child for taco bell http://tfl.nu/lkky
  Replies (41) Good night (5549) Bad night (986)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  what if every blade of grass was a penis?

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  (610): what if every blade of grass was a penis? http://tfl.nu/ka1d
  Replies (34) Good night (4253) Bad night (1164)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.

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  (865): One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat. http://tfl.nu/8o5d
  Replies (18) Good night (3043) Bad night (820)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.

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  (202): We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible. http://tfl.nu/l361
  Replies (19) Good night (5153) Bad night (558)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?

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  (267): Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet? http://tfl.nu/aedp
  Replies (24) Good night (4795) Bad night (1271)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.

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  (256): Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green. http://tfl.nu/6tsm
  Replies (25) Good night (6653) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  his penis is PERFECT

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm

  (802): View more from Vermont

  or knit it little hat

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  (802): his penis is PERFECT (802): I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm (802): or knit it little hat http://tfl.nu/4cuj
  Replies (37) Good night (9922) Bad night (1385)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.

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  (440): I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill. http://tfl.nu/321p
  Replies (2) Good night (2458) Bad night (1078)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.

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  (516): I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick. http://tfl.nu/gzhw
  Replies (15) Good night (4609) Bad night (876)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?

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  (706): Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings? http://tfl.nu/0565
  Replies (28) Good night (3102) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  how was it?

  (1-310): View more from California

  he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"

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  (310): how was it? (1-310): he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins" http://tfl.nu/8mel
  Replies (2) Good night (1554) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted

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  (401): remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted http://tfl.nu/rrq3
  Replies (7) Good night (1398) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.

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  (856): I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now. http://tfl.nu/hfm5
  Replies (7) Good night (1076) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.

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  (360): There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle. http://tfl.nu/htoq
  Replies (8) Good night (809) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.

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  (416): Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now. http://tfl.nu/rhwt
  Replies (12) Good night (285) Bad night (680)

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