here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
