Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong