Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé