he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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