I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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