You can't motorboat a personality
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
