The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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