Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Come back. Shots need mouths.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
