He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
