They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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