Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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