She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
