fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
